I Will Be Right Here
by NicPie
Summary: Elsa's magic isn't the only thing keeping her in isolation... After a childhood trauma changes life as she knows it, Elsa must learn to cope with her new reality; all the while, working to control the very part of her that caused her so much pain and suffering. Where her powers bring strength, being broken leaves her vulnerable; a unique mix that makes for a very uncertain future.
1. Injured

**A/N: So, this story was inspired by a something I thought I saw, but then realized I didn't. (Not important. :P) But anyway, once the thought was there, I couldn't ignore it and was so excited to figure out how to make it work. Yay INSPIRATION! I've been wanting to write a new story for a while now but nothing felt right until this. I brainstormed for like.. I don't even know how many days with a friend until I had this entirely mapped out. So, many thanks to yellow-eyed-wonder for that and for her excitement and encouragement. :)**

**That being said, (and yes, I know it probably won't make sense to you right now, if ever... it should, but if not, no biggie) I want to make it known that though this is labeled K+ for the moment, but there will be at least one point where I'll need to adjust the rating to M, so if that's going to bother you... you should know that now.**

**Also, to avoid confusion with thoughts, as there will be many in this fic, I've chosen to bold words of emphasis rather than italicizing. Just wanted to point that out so it was clear.  
**

**And finally, this both does and does not follow the plot of the movie. The gist of the storyline is here, but I've tweaked it and made it my own, so don't panic... just go with it. ;)**

**I think that's it, so... I hope you'll enjoy it.  
**

* * *

_"Elsa, what have you done?!"_

_"She's ice cold."_

The words, fresh from her parents' lips, echoed through her mind as she stood at the door, watching as they readied themselves to venture from the castle. Anna was cradled in her mother's arms, swaddled in her favorite purple blanket, as her father helped them inside the waiting carriage.

What **had** she done? This certainly was not the first time Elsa and her little sister had ever played with her powers, but nothing like this had ever happened before. It was pure, innocent fun and nobody had ever gotten hurt. But somehow, tonight, that wasn't the case. Anna had taken a blast of winter magic to the head and now… she wasn't moving… and some of her hair turned white…

Elsa didn't know what was going to happen and it terrified her to think of the possibilities. But Papa had an idea; somewhere they could take her to try to get her well again and Elsa hoped more than anything that she would see her sister wake up and hug and kiss all over her… if only he'd allow her to go along.

What if Anna never got better? What if she never got to see her again?

"But I want to go too," she cried as she ran to her father.

The King turned before stepping into the carriage, resting his hand on his eldest daughter's shoulder. "I think it's best if you stay here."

"But—"

"Gerda," he beckoned to the woman standing off to the side. The servant – a short, plump woman, sweet and kind – was the closest thing the girls had to a nanny. "See that Elsa gets put back to bed immediately."

"Yes, your Majesty." Gerda bowed her head and stepped towards the girl as he made to climb into the carriage.

But he paused when Elsa threw her arms around his waist. "It was an accident!" Tears streamed down her porcelain-like cheeks. "I promise I'll be good. Please. Papa, I want to go! I want to be with Anna!"

He looked down at the eight year old with an oddly pained expression that flickered across his face before he blinked it away. "Enough, Elsa. We will talk about this when we get home." Then, he disentangled himself from her hold, guided her back to the servant and hoisted himself inside the carriage.

"I'm sorry, Anna!" She called after them as the horses pulled away. _Please don't die._

Gerda wrapped a gentle arm around the little girl's shoulders. "Come along, dear." Elsa allowed herself to be led to the stairs, but not without one last glance over her shoulder. The woman patted her softly as she urged her forward, "everything's going to be just fine. You'll see."

But Elsa knew, **she knew**_, _everything was not going to be fine. She could sense it; feel it in the tingling of her palms, the harsh cold that stirred within her.

Not fine at all.

* * *

"Princess Elsa. Please, come away from the window and get back in bed. You must get some rest. Your father—"

"I'm not tired," she cut in flatly, focused intently on staring out the window to the castle gates.

"But you've barely slept all night and the sun is about to rise," Gerda coaxed as she approached the window seat and peered around, attempting to force some eye contact. "And you look exhausted."

"I want to see them when they get back," Elsa murmured. "I have to see Anna."

"I promise to wake you when they return, Princess." Gerda reassured her as she gently grasped her cold little hand, stepping in the direction of the girl's bed.

"No." Elsa snatched her hand away. "I'm staying here." She turned and looked at the woman pointedly. "You may go," she told her, easily dismissing the servant with all the authority in her tone that her title permitted her. Despite being eight years old, she still currently outranked every other person within the castle grounds.

"Y-yes, your Highness," Gerda replied, slightly stunned.

Elsa turned back to the window, resting her forehead against the glass

She observed the young princess for another moment, still unsure if she should be left alone given the circumstances – the King had instructed her to put her to bed. But what more was she to do? She sighed heavily before reluctantly leaving the room.

* * *

Gerda wasn't wrong in saying that she was exhausted; she could feel the fatigue settling into her tiny little body. The increasing sunlight made her eyes hurt, her head was beginning to throb and she just wanted to lie down. But there was no way she would sleep now. She couldn't. She had to stay awake, to see for herself that Anna was home and well

_But what if Anna doesn't come home?_

_What if I killed her?_

Elsa shook her head frantically, willing the thoughts away. "No," she whispered. "She's not dead. She's not… She can't be."

Elsa glanced over at Anna's bed, pink covers still pushed back and jumbled from when her sister had last been there, blissfully unaware of what was to come when she excitedly threw them back and scampered over to Elsa's bed. Anna's babydolls – mini-Elsa and mini-Anna – lay up by the pillow, waiting for her return to snuggle them close.

Tears welled in Elsa's eyes, a lump in her throat, and frost...

She watched, wide-eyed, as it quickly spread throughout the room. It crept from the window seat, down to the floor, up to the window, then the walls and across the ceiling. Consuming every inch with its soft, delicate patterns.

_What's happening?! _

Her powers had never done this before; they were always pretty and fun to play with, but they were never this out of control. Except for a few hours ago in the ballroom, they'd done this then too. Right after…

Her eyes slid closed as a sickening feeling tightened in her throat.

_What if she comes home and I—I hurt her again?_

Elsa curled her knees up to her chest and hugged them close, burying her face against the soft sleeves of her nightgown. "Please, come home, Anna," she begged, her tears soaking into the fabric. "I promise, I'll be more careful."

_It's too late. Anna's hurt and Mama and Papa are going to be so angry…_

"It was an accident," she whispered into her arms. "I'm sorry."

_They'll hate you. _

Thoughts of her little sister's bright-eyed, smiling face played in her mind; but they were quickly snatched away, replaced with the replay of her magic striking Anna's head, knocking her to the ground, unconscious. The way she looked in her mother's arms, so quiet, still and un-Anna-like, wrapped in that blanket because she'd been cold, **ice-cold **Mama said. The way Papa held them as he studied the child with concern. And the way they both had looked at **her**, with those sad eyes – she didn't like the way it made her feel – they'd never looked at her like that before, so uncertain and full of fear.

_How could they ever love you again?_

Elsa choked back a sob.

_You deserve to be punished for what you did… For killing your baby sister._

Elsa clamped her hands over hear ears, a vain effort to muffle the tormenting thoughts. "No... Stop…"

_You were so bad._

"Stopitstopitstopitstopit—"

_So bad._

Ice prickled on her palms as she squeezed tighter and tighter. She cried out, panicking. "Anna!"

_She's gone..._

Why wouldn't it stop?!

_Forever._

That last word had been the end of it though, because the final thing she heard was the sound of her own blood-curdling scream. Blackness rolled in and her world went quiet.

* * *

**I hope you guys liked it so far. There is plenty more to come. :) I'd love to know what you think so far, so please review if you have a minute, it means a lot! **


	2. Discoveries

**A/N: Well... here it is. I worked all night to try to get it up before going to bed, so I hope it was worth it. :) I feel pretty good about most of it, although it may not be what you were expecting (maybe it is?), but either way, I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know what you think... it fuels the inspiration. ;) **

**Brittney, I hope it lives up to your expectations. :D**

**On! And to my wonderful Guest reviewer who commented about wanting a fic in Elsa's POV and mentioned how the shackles had been custom made for her... Check out my other story. I wrote all Elsa's movie scenes plus some originals in between, including an extended scene/flashback when she was in the dungeon, and I think it may be exactly what you're wanting. :D (Shameless self-promotion, I know, but when I read your review it actually sounded like it belonged with the other story, so I wanted to share it's existence with you.)**

* * *

Gerda stepped out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her. The hallway was quiet, as it should be around 4AM. With the chaos from night relieved for the moment, all she wanted to do now was sleep. But the sun would be up soon and another day beginning; undoubtedly busy, as usual. And with no sleep and no idea what would happen once the royal family returned home, she had a feeling this was going to be a very trying day, to say the least. But never in her wildest dreams could she have prepared for what was about to unfold.

She settled down on the floor and tipped her head back against the door. _Maybe a little nap would be okay,_ she thought, allowing her eyes to slip closed.

She'd barely begun to drift off when she was startled awake by the most bone-chilling terror-filled scream she'd ever heard.

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—ugh!"

Thud.

Gerda was on her feet before she could even process what she'd heard. In the span of one breath's time, a million thoughts flooded her mind. '_Stooo…' Stop, maybe? Stop what? What made the scream end so abruptly? And what was that noise?_

"Princess Elsa?!" she cried with alarm as she twisted the knob and stumbled into the room. Her attention immediately had drawn to the frost that coated… well, everything.

Everything except the small girl that lay sprawled on the ground beside the window seat where she looked to have fallen from.

Gerda gasped. "Oh…" she breathed, slipping slightly as she ran to her side. "Oh no. No! No no no no no no no… Not you too." She dropped to the floor, instinctively reaching for the child to pull her into her arms, but as soon as she laid eyes on her she pulled back with a shriek, not wanting to injure her further. She clapped her hands over her mouth, trying to hold back the cries that wanted to escape.

Elsa's hands were covered with frost, her palms encrusted with what looked like miniature icy mountains. But that wasn't what the woman was concerned about; after all, she had worked at the castle long before the Princess was even conceived and was fully aware of her gifts. No, what caught her attention and instantly made her ill, was the blood oozing from the girl's ears, staining her platinum blonde hair a disturbing shade of crimson.

"KAI!" She screeched as loud as she could manage. "KAI! Come quickly!"

Her hands flew to Elsa's chest, hoping and praying she would feel the thumping of her heart beneath them. She all but collapsed there herself when she felt the telltale signs of life. "Oh, thank heavens!"

"Gerda?!" She heard the man call from the hallway.

"In here!" She yelled. "Hurry!"

Kai came rushing into the room, his body moving faster than his feet and had to catch his balance as he skidded to a halt. "What is it? What's wrong?! I heard screaming—and then you called—"

"Princess Elsa… sh-she's hurt…" Gerda moved aside so he could see for himself.

"What happened?" He asked again, hurrying over and kneeling beside her. Then, carefully, he grasped Elsa's chin, tilting her head to the side ever-so-slightly.

"I—I don't know. She wouldn't sleep and she told me to go. S-so I sat just outside the door… I closed my eyes for a few minutes—and then she was screaming… I don't know wh—and I think she fell off…" She motioned towards the window. "What if she hit her head? What if something's seriously wrong?! She's alive, but… h-her ears—and the blood." Gerda's eyes overflowed with tears. "It was just a few minutes, Kai. I swear it! I was just so tired… It was only a little while and— "

"Shh, it's okay. Breathe." He instructed calmly. "It's not your fault."

Gerda sobbed harder. "Look at her, Kai. She's so pale… W-what do we do?"

He grimaced. "I… I don't know. I don't want to move her, not until the physician looks her over." He stood to leave. "I'll go fetch him," he said, taking in the condition of the room for the first time. "Will you be alright?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but just nodded instead.

"You should get a fire going." Kai took one last glance down at Elsa; then he quickly turned and dashed out the door. "I'll be back soon."

Gerda stroked the girl's hair lovingly. _Please don't die, Princess. _She leaned down to put a soft kiss on her forehead. _Please don't die._

* * *

Kai was leading the royal physician up the stairs as the King and Queen entered the foyer; Anna snored peacefully, snuggled in her father's arms.

"What's going on?" The King demanded.

"There's been an accident, Majesties." Kai informed them, trying to remain as calm as possible.

The Queen's hands flew to her mouth, wide eyes peering over her fingertips.

"An accident? What's happened?" He looked from Kai to the doctor, both paused mid-staircase.

"It's the princess… " The servant began, but couldn't seem to find the right words, especially because he didn't actually know what had happened either. "I'm sorry, your Majesty. We're not entirely sure—that's why we've called for Dr. Pedersen."

"If I may, Sir...?" the doctor gestured up the stairs. "I understand it may be a matter of urgency."

"Yes. Yes, of course," the King nodded hastily towards the stairs. "Please."

"Karl," he turned to the guard closest to him. The man immediately stepped forward. "Please take Anna and put her in her bed."

"Yes, Sir." Karl replied as the little girl was placed in his arms.

Kai cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Princess Elsa is occupying the room at the moment, Majesty. May I suggest that Princess Anna rest in your quarters for the time being?"

"That will be fine. Thank you, Kai." He gave a curt nod to the guard, "Karl."The young man took that as his permission to leave and carefully carried Anna up the stairs while the others following quickly on his heels.

* * *

"What do you mean, 'they're gone'?!" The Queen asked hysterically. "I don't understand. How can they be **gone**?! How did this happen?!"

"I understand this is difficult to process, your Majesty. I'll try to explain the best I can." Dr. Pedersen said. "The eardrum is situated deep inside the ear canal. Sometimes with illness or trauma, the tissue can puncture or rupture. This type of injury can cause hearing loss, but it is possible that with time and healing, this loss can be restored." He took a deep breath before continuing. "My fear for your daughter is that the damage is too severe for the natural healing process to correct the problem." Another breath. "When I examined her, I had to remove a significant amount of ice from each of her ears. It went very deep, beyond the inner ear itself… So, when I said the eardrums were gone, I meant just that. They look to be completely destroyed. I… I am truly sorry," the man offered sincerely.

The Queen, however, hadn't caught the condolences, as she had zoned out at the doctor's discovery. _ICE?! Her powers did this?_

"I-I don't understand. Her powers have never hurt her before…?"

"It, uh…" he stammered. "It appears to be… self-inflicted, Majesty."

_Self-inflicted?_

"You're saying she did this to herself?"

The doctor nodded grimly. "This was not merely a build-up of her ice clogging the canals. These were rather sharp and embedded quite deeply.

The stunned parents were at a loss for words.

"I was able to stop the bleeding, but there was nothing more I could do. Right now the ear canals are essentially like gaping holes, so you will have to be sure her ears are plugged before she bathes. They must remain clean and dry. She may also be susceptible to infection, so I'd like to start her on an antibiotic for now to prevent the situation from getting any worse." He handed the King a bottle that he'd withdrawn from his pocket. "The tissues should close up eventually, but I would be very shocked if any of her hearing is restored."

She felt like she'd been kicked in the gut. "And you're… you're sure she can't hear anything right now?"

"It's highly probable, Ma'am. Without an eardrum to properly function…"

The Queen all but collapsed in her husband's arms. She turned into his chest, clinging to the lapels of his coat as she saturating them with her tears.

"I wouldn't get my hopes up."

"…Thank you." The King managed to say as he attempted to soothe his wife, rubbing his hands gently up and down her arms. "Can we see her now?"

"She's still resting, but yes, I think it would be best that you both are there when she wakes. It… it will most likely be very difficult for her. And for you." The man motioned them inside the room. "You should be prepared."

* * *

Blink.

Blink.

_Owwww…_

Her head was pounding, ears throbbing.

_It hurts so bad._

* * *

The King and Queen leapt from the chairs they'd positioned by their daughter's bedside. The sound of soft, yet clearly pain-induced whimpers signaling that she was waking. Each parent took one of her hands in their own, watching her face closely, waiting for any sign that would tell them what they were so desperate to find out.

How much damage had the ice caused?

"Elsa?" The Queen crooned, being sure to stay out of sight for the time being, hoping that her voice alone would grab her attention. But her little girl only blinked groggily up at the bed canopy, not showing any sign that she was aware of her company.

"It's okay, sweetheart," the King said. "She's just waking. Maybe she's not alert enough yet."

"But we're holding her hands too and it's like she doesn't even notice," she frowned. "Could the ice have damaged them too?"

"No. Her hands are fine, your Majesty. It's just her ears that are the concern. But I have given her a large dose of pain medication," the physician explained from his position at the end of the bed. "Give her a minute to adjust." He tried to offer them a reassuring smile, but it didn't hide the sadness in his eyes. "I'll be just down the hall in the library if you need anything," he said, dismissing himself.

She nodded though, wanting to be as positive as she could. She remained still for a few minutes, before she couldn't take it any longer. She had to know. Although something deep down told her that she already knew the answer. The doctor had been fairly certain…

"Elsa, it's your Mama," she tried again, her voice thick with emotion. "…Elsa…"

_Please, baby. Please, answer me. Turn your head, squeeze my hand. Anything! Just please be okay. _

She leaned down a little closer. "C-can you hear me, darling?"

Nothing.

_…Nooo... Why is this happening?!_ She turned her face away, biting down on her lip to muffle her cries.

"If… if she can't—" the King swallowed "it'll be all right."

She shot her husband a sideways glance, wanting to snap at him. Tell him, 'no, it would not be all right!' but when she looked at him, she only wanted to cry harder. There was no trace of his kingly mask evident on his face. Instead, she saw other things: concern, frustration, anger, fear, sadness… and she was sure her own no doubt mirrored his exactly.

In that moment, she knew. _It's true. _ He'd sensed it just as she had, she could see that. And now, with no responses from Elsa to prove otherwise, despite their conversing, it was painfully obvious that their daughter wasn't able to hear them.

She hiccupped back a sob. "What do we do now?"

"We'll figure it out," he said, reaching across the bed and caressing her arm reassuringly.

She shook her head erratically, covering her mouth with her free hand. "This isn't right."

_As if she didn't already have enough to deal with. On top of having powers… now she's deaf too?!_

"…I know."

It wasn't fair.

_And I can't even tell her what's happened. _Her heart felt like it dropped into her stomach, the thought of Elsa having to figure this out on her own made her sick. _She's going to be so scared._

Tears stung her eyes, threatening to fall. But fought them back, she had to be strong for Elsa, she didn't want her to see her cry.

"Elsa?" Her father tried one last time. This time, he shook her hand gently, finally getting her attention, although it startled her and she squeezed her hands on reflex and finding them full in their grips. She quickly tried to lift her head off the pillow to see who was there with her, but she hissed instantly, the movement obviously causing her pain.

She pulled her hands free and gripped her head, freezing as they met the bandages wrapped around it. Her eyes widened with alarm and she very gingerly moved her fingers along the fabric, stopping at her ears. She patted her hands against them, immediately becoming agitated. She banged against them harder, faster; cries intensifying and breathing quickening as panic took over.

The Queen stood there frozen, across from her husband, both helpless as she watched their baby girl try to make some sense of what was happening to her. Seeing Elsa's reaction to her new reality was by far the worst pain she'd ever felt, even far surpassing the day she'd brought the girl into the world.

* * *

_No. No. No. No. Why won't you work? _Elsa frantically banged on her ears. _WORK! _

But they refused to obey.

She could feel the rise and fall of her chest as she gasped for air; could feel the vibrations in her throat as she cried out in frustration. She knew she was doing these things, but she couldn't hear any of it.

And she couldn't see anything. Physically her eyes worked just fine, but her head hurt so bad when she tried to move it, she could barely look around or at anything more than the navy canopy that hung over her bed.

It was disorienting. And terrifying.

But she knew she wasn't alone, at least; someone had been holding her hands. She could feel their gentle touches as if they were trying to comfort her.

Her ears hurt so bad, sharp and pulsing. _What happened to me?_ She tried to think, but the memories were so fuzzy. She remembered being upset and that she was tired… then she heard all those bad things…

_My ears!_

She yanked the bandage off her head and brought it into her line of sight, staring horrified at the two bloodied spots that stained either side. _I'm bleeding?!_

Icy webs started crackling over the bandage before it had been pried from her hands, which she quickly moved back to her ears. This time they were pulled away by strong hands and placed down at her sides, held down with firm, but gentle pressure.

She couldn't hear, it was hard to see much around her, and now she couldn't move freely... Fresh tears welled up in Elsa's eyes, frustrations mounting as another restriction was added.

She just wanted her Mama.

"Maaa" she cried, hoping her voice was doing what she wanted. "Ma—"

Within seconds, her mother was laying there in the bed at her right side, pulling her into a tight embrace – the pressure on her hands lifted – she rolled to her side and curled into her, burying her face into her chest, craving the comfort of her mother's love.

She didn't know how long they'd stayed that way, but her mother held her tight as she sobbed until Elsa was the one to finally let go. When she looked up into her face, she saw that she had also been crying.

The Queen wiped the tears from her eyes, offering her daughter a weak smile as she wiped away hers as well. Then she planted a long kiss on her forehead before pulling back to look at her intently. "I love you." It had been spoken slowly enough for her to understand.

Elsa's face puckered. How she wished she could have heard that! If only this one last time. She closed her eyes, holding back the tears, not wanting to upset Mama any more.

_I love you too, _she thought, but simply replied with a small nod.

Her mother slowly sat up, tipping her head and offered Elsa her hands, silently asking her permission to help her sit up. She bit her lip, nodding nervously.

The sudden change made the throbbing intensify and she winced automatically. She clutched her head, took a few deep breaths and was surprised to find that after a minute or two, the pain began to ease.

Elsa carefully lifted her chin, looking around comfortably for the first time that morning. Standing off to the side, her father stood with a wary smile. She tried to match it, but for some reason, tears sprang to her eyes. He was there, sitting in front of her, instantly. He took her in his arms and kissed the top of her head.

When they broke the embrace, they all looked from one another awkwardly, none of them really knowing what to do.

* * *

Elsa brought her little hands up to her ears, tapping on them as she looked nervously from one parent to the other, questioning them with her eyes.

If the Queen's heart hadn't fully broken yet, that just about did it. She reached for her daughter's closest hand, kissing it, squeezing it lightly, before finally meeting her eyes and sadly shaking her head.

"No, baby." She couldn't help say aloud, more for her own benefit, needing to hear herself say it with her own mouth. "They're not going to get better."

Elsa's eyes watered, as did her own.

Her father got off the bed and went over to the desk, rummaging around until he found what he'd been looking for. He came back with a journal and a quill and ink. He sat back on the bed, opened up the book and gently placed it into her lap. She looked down at it, contemplating before awkwardly accepting the pen from his outstretched hand. taking a deep, steadying breath, she wrote her first words in this new form of communication.

There were only two words on the paper, but they were incredibly heartwrenching.

_"I'm scared."_

The King gave his wife's knee a comforting light squeeze in response to the shuddering breath she'd taken when she saw what was written on the page.

He gingerly slid the book from Elsa's lap and scratched a note inside.

_"I understand... we're scared too, but I cannot begin to imagine how frightening this must be for you. But everything will be okay, Elsa. We promise. We will figure this out together and do everything we can to make this easier for you."_

He held it open for her to read, the tears rolled down her cheeks when she'd done so.

Elsa reached for the book with shaky hands.

_"I'm sorry." _She wrote and then slowly turned the book around for them to see. Her cheeks flushed a tinge of rosy pink and she covered her face with her hands.

The Queen's jaw dropped as she read the paper and quickly pulled Elsa's hands away. She tipped her chin up so she was sure she was paying attention, shook her head vigorously with a scowl. She hesitantly picked up the book, the quill shaking in her hand; not quite ready to take this first step in admitting that things were different now. But she put the pen to the paper…

_"You have NOTHING to be sorry for! Do you understand?"_

Elsa's only reply was her holding out her hands in front of her. She turned her palms up and then looked at her parents sadly.

Her Papa took the book next.

_"We know. The doctor found the ice. It's okay. It wasn't your fault._

_But… do you remember how it happened?"_

She got a thoughtful look on her face before nearly jumping out of her skin. "UH!" She snatched up the book and quickly scrawled…

_"ANNA?"_

Her mother rested her hand on her shoulder, urging her to calm down. Then she smiled brightly and nodded her head, happy to share one bit of good news that came out of this horrible, horrible day.

_She's going to be just fine._

Elsa's face lit up and she grinned happily.

_Leave it to Anna to be the one that makes her smile. _The Queen laughed to herself. The girls had always been close and the two were never happier than when they were together.

She took the pen and scratched onto the book, still in Elsa's lap.

_"Do you want me to go get her?"_

Elsa immediately panicked; she held up her palms towards her mother and began waving her hands frantically. her head shaking wildly from side to side.

"Okay. Okay." She grabbed her hands, staring her in the eye. "Okay."

Elsa took a deep breath before writing next.

_"I don't want her to be scared."_

She sighed as she took the note from her daughter. As much as she hated to admit it, Elsa was right. Anna was only five, she wouldn't understand that her sister couldn't hear her anymore. Or that she wouldn't talk to her anymore. And seeing her upset would only upset Elsa.

_It's probably best for them to give each other a little space for a while; until Elsa's ready. _

The King picked up the book and pointed to his last entry with curiosity.

Did she remember?

Elsa hesitantly took it from him and thought a moment before putting the nib to the paper.

_"I was mad that I had to stay here by myself. And I was scared that I hurt Anna. My powers made my hands tickle and then the room got all frosty. Bad things were in my head, like that I killed Anna and you and Mama wouldn't love me anymore. I wanted them to stop. I remember covering my ears and screaming for it to stop. _

_That's all I remember."_

She passed it to her father and looked down into her lap as he read, wringing her hands nervously.

The Queen read over his shoulder, disturbed by seeing what their daughter had been though, before meeting his own sad eyes. She grabbed the book.

_"Elsa, I am so, so, so SORRY that this happened to you. I wish you didn't have to go through that alone._

_Can you forgive us?"_

* * *

Elsa's eyes widened as she read her mother's apology. When she looked up they were both staring at her with the saddest faces she thought she had ever seen.

She didn't know who started it, and it really didn't matter, but suddenly they were all wrapped in each other's arms and for the first time since this nightmare began, Elsa knew that her parents' love was unconditional.

* * *

The King and Queen startled from the embrace at the sound of a knock on the door, followed by it cracking open slightly with Gerda's head poking through.

She looked to Elsa first, trying her best to greet her with a smile. Then, averted her gaze before the tears could fall from her glassy eyes.

"Excuse me, Majesties. But Princess Anna is awake and won't calm down unless she sees one of you… I-I'm sorry for the interruption."

"It's okay, Gerda," the Queen assured. "Thank you, one of us will be there in just a moment."

When the door had clicked shut, the parents looked at one another; neither one sure who should go to Anna and who should stay with Elsa. And both realizing that this was the beginning to what was sure to be a very complicated situation.


	3. Grieving

**A/N: Hi there. :) Just wanted to take a moment to thank you all for the faves and follows and also to those of you who left me such nice reviews, I get excited whenever I get the notifications, so... yeah. Thank you. I hope you guys like the chapter, there's not a whole lot going on, but it was needed for character development and I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. Though if I sit and read it again, I may change my mind. Hahaha. So, anyway... let me know what you thnk and please, enjoy. :)**

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Elsa had pretty much had to force her parents out of her room that night. They had been taking turns throughout the day, one staying with her while the other went to be with Anna and then, after about two hours, they'd swap. Her mother would come to relieve her father, they'd share a weary glance and what she assumed was a small verbal exchange before he left, and vice versa. Sometimes they would both stay together with her for a short while, but there wasn't a moment that they were both out of the room at the same time, leaving her alone long enough to really sit and think for a minute or two. That was probably their intent, she realized, but while she appreciated their concern, she was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed with everything.

The conversing in her journal had been helpful in calming her down a little, and she was glad they were telling her the truth about her ears and about what happened with Anna after they left, but it was a lot to take in all at once. And, despite the pain medication the physician had given her, her head still hurt some, although it did succeed in making her feel sleepy. Plus, her powers were still acting weird. She'd never had so much trouble with them before, nothing ever just happened when she wasn't trying. But now, the tips of her fingers were nearly frozen and the nails crusted with a thin layer of frost; her palms tickled as if the magic was dancing just under her skin, ready to burst forth whenever it wanted. And even though it hadn't taken the room long to defrost once Gerda and Kai found her and built up a huge fire in the fireplace (it was only a light coating that had needed to melt off) there was still a lingering chill in the air.

To top it all off, Elsa was feeling guilty that their babysitting was taking their attention from Anna. She'd assumed that Gerda must be sitting with her during the shift changes, so she wasn't alone either, but she still didn't like being the reason Anna couldn't have both of her parents there with her on such a traumatizing day… a day where she was recuperating from a near-death experience, caused by her very own sister.

It was all just getting to be too much, too fast. There was so much to take in and get used to, to make sense of and try to understand, all the while, feeling physically and emotionally drained. She could feel her anxiety building and she just wanted some time to herself to figure things out, without being fussed over or stared at.

Elsa put on a brave face, asked her parents if she they would tuck her in to bed and watched as they hesitantly left the room.

When she was finally alone, her thoughts immediately shifted to Anna. She thought about how they told her that they'd taken her to a place where trolls lived so that they could heal her with their magic. Elsa had never seen a troll before, she didn't even know that they really existed, but as a person who also held magical powers, she didn't even think to question it. The eldest troll – Pabbie, they said his name was – had to take the magic out of Anna's head; and to do that, he had to take out all of her memories that had to do with Elsa's powers.

Thinking about that had made her sad. Anna wouldn't remember any of the fun they'd had with her snow or her ice, which was a lot of how they spent their time together. Over the past couple months, Elsa had been teaching her to ice skate. Anna wasn't too steady yet, but they kept practicing because she loved it so much. And, one of their favorite things to do was building snowmen, they usually made one at least once a week, and they were usually always named Olaf.

Elsa's chest ached just thinking about it all, everything they'd done together that Anna would never remember, everything that they'd never do again. How much of their lives had been interwoven with her powers? How many memories were gone now, altered by a magic she didn't understand. Without those memories, the very things that strengthened their sisterly bond… how much of her would Anna have left to remember? Would she feel the same way about her as she did before? Would she still love her?

She had to see her, to find out just what her sister did think of her. To make sure they were still best friends.

Elsa threw back the covers and scooted to the edge of her bed. _I have to tell her that I'm sorry, that I… I… _She paused, frowned. _No_… She couldn't tell her anything. She couldn't even face her. Not now. _Not like this._

Her parents agreed to her request to wait before telling Anna. She didn't want to upset the girl unnecessarily, especially if she couldn't validate their words by seeing Elsa for herself. Poor Anna wouldn't really understand without seeing her in person and that was something Elsa wasn't ready for.

Her eyes began to water. She didn't want to see Anna this way, to see her and **only** see her. Not talk to her, or hear her sweet giggles. She didn't want to see the sad pout on her little face when – after she asked one of her million questions, like she loved to do – she would have to stare at her like an idiot because she wouldn't be able to respond to her. Anna would probably think Elsa was trying to be mean to her or that she didn't want to play with her and that wasn't true at all. But how was a five year-old supposed to know the difference?

The edge of the blanket stiffened under her grasp, snowflake patterns multiplied rapidly until she pulled her hands away and scurried back to her pillows, her hands clasped to her chest as she eyed the remnants of the latest accident cautiously. _It's better if I stay away from her for a while._

She pulled her knees up and hugged them close, tearing her gaze from the spot to look around the room, trying to find anything else to focus on that would not serve as a painful reminder of all that's happened. But that only made her feel worse. Anna was everywhere.

Anna's side, Anna's bed, Anna's toys… Anna, Anna, Anna.

After all, this was her room too, and though Mama and Papa were letting Anna sleep with them for now, eventually she'd want to come back into it. Elsa closed her eyes and shook her head in frustration. _How is this going to work?_

_Why did this happen to me? To Anna? Why can't I be normal? Why couldn't I have **ever** just been normal?! If it wasn't for these stupid powers… _Anger tightened the expression on her face as she stared down at her hands. _They ruined everything! _Tears streamed down her cheeks and fell into her hands where they quickly froze atop her pale skin._ EVERYTHING!_ She slammed her fists onto the bed. _First Anna. Now my ears! _Her face puckered as she laid her palms over them. There was no rustling noise as skin brushed against skin. No internal amplification as she pressed. And no suction-type sounds as she pulled her hands away. Just… nothing.

_I don't like this! Please! I want to go back to last night—I just want to do it over. I promise I won't hurt Anna again! I won't even play with her… Please?! I hate this!_ Elsa threw herself facedown into her pillow, soaking the silky case as she sobbed into it. _I can't live this way forever; I just can't! I-I'd rather die._ She wailed harder, kicking her feet into the mattress._ I hate it! I hate it… I hate it. I HATE IT! _She screamed into the pillow before yanking it from under her head, annoyed by the moisture that chilled against her face, and whipped it off to the side, unaware that it had collided with her bedside table, sending a vase of wildflowers crashing to the ground.

_It's not fair! _She wanted to scream it out as loud as she could, to let all of Arendelle know of her injustice. But sadly, no matter how loud she could manage, even if her cries had reverberated through the entire kingdom for every person to hear, the fact remained that for her there would be only silence. And no amount of kicking and screaming was going to change that.

But that didn't stop her from trying.

* * *

It'd been about an hour since Elsa made her parents leave. However, unbeknownst to her, they hadn't gone far. After the Queen settled Anna down for bedtime, she joined her husband in the hall outside of Elsa's room. Both royals slouched against the walls alongside the door, utterly exhausted after nearly two days with no sleep, but yet still not able to, nor wanting to be anywhere else other than right there for their daughter.

They had sensed her growing agitation as the evening had progressed, but after hours of corresponding, there wasn't much more they could have said to her to put her at ease… because there was nothing possible to be said that would make thing situation any better. They did assure her that they wouldn't tell Anna, not yet… not until she was ready; which seemed to calm her for a while, but it hadn't lasted long. She pushed the book away, shaking her head, not in the mood to write anymore, so they let her be when she walked off and climbed up onto her window seat. She sat for a while, absently staring out the window, twisting the fabric of her nightgown or wringing her hands. Whenever she stilled, her fingers would subconsciously find themselves at her ears, prodding and pulling until she realized what she was doing and quickly went back to her fidgeting. Eventually, she said that she was tired and let them tuck her into bed and smiled as they kissed her goodnight, but her mother could feel the waves of tension rolling off the girl and had been reluctant to leave her, but ultimately did so.

The hall was always quiet at this time of night, but there was something especially eerie about it now for the Queen, the silence more significant. It felt sad… heavy. Suffocating. _If this is only a fraction of what she's feeling... _she thought, shifting uncomfortably under the weight of the realization. The noiselessness made her feel sick and suddenly she was craving any sort of auditory stimulation she could get. The King eye's had slipped shut, was he sleeping? She wanted to wake him, to blurt out anything she could think of just to fill the void. _No… if Elsa can't get away from it— _She swallowed hard, but then forced herself to remain still, not to speak or even to breathe too heavy, trying to allow herself to experience even just a miniscule amount of what her daughter was going through. And yet, even then, there wasn't complete silence. She became hyper-aware of her own internal noises, the sound of her husband breathing, the clock chiming, the faraway voices that echoed softly from the kitchen. The hardest part, the part that hurt the most, was knowing that unlike with her little experiment, Elsa heard **nothing** and it would be that way for her for forever.

_Forever._ She could barely wrap her head around the idea, much less bear the thought of it.

"I wish it was me," the Queen said, breaking the near-quiet with a low whisper. The King blinked slowing, turning his head towards her, he offered her a hand that she readily accepted before continuing. "I-I feel so helpless. I just want to make this better for her… and there's nothing I can do." She wiped at her eyes with the heel of her free hand. "I never thought anything like this could ever happen. Her powers have always been beautiful…" she sniffed "we should have been more careful—kept a closer watch."

"There was no way we could have seen this coming." He scooted closer and wrapped his wife in his arms, where she instinctively settled against his shoulder. "You can't look to assign blame. Sometimes… sometimes, things just happen. It was an accident."

"Both times."

The King rested his chin on her head. "Yes, well…" he said thoughtfully, "now we—"

"Shh!" She snapped upright, turning her ear towards the door, right index finger coming to her lips.

Inside, they could hear their daughter's soft cries. It hadn't taken long before whimpers escalated to sobs, which turned to wails, which led to the gut-wrenching screaming. And a crash or some sort…

At that, the Queen was on her feet, ready to barge in, but he was there instantly, gently grabbing hold of her elbow, pulling her back against him. "No," the word broke as it left his lips. "Not yet."

She turned back to him in confusion, one hand still stretching towards the doorknob. "What? Wh-why? She could be hurt. I need to go to her, she needs—" She let her words trail off as her tear-filled eyes rose to meet his.

"She needs to grieve."

"Then she shouldn't be alone…"

"That's why she should be alone," he corrected.

"I…I don't understand."

"Life as she knows it has just changed; she's lost something precious that she'll never get back… She has every right to be angry." He held her face tenderly in his palms. "Give her time. She needs to process."

"But…" She glanced back to the door, "that could take…" _Days? Months? YEARS?_

He nodded sadly and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I know."

They stood there in the hall, trying to find comfort in their embrace as they were forced to wait out every agonizing second of the outburst that was happening on the other side of the door. Finally, the screams became less and less, intermittent between moans and hiccupped sobs before finally reducing to sniffles and then… Quiet. They waited another five minutes, just to be sure, before they slowly opened the door and peeked inside, not entirely expecting what they were about to find.

Snow. Ice. Broken glass. Wilting flowers. Things thrown about the room. Pages torn from the journal and ripped into tiny pieces and strewn about. And a crumpled little Elsa, passed out in the midst of it all.

They hurried over to her, inspecting her for injuries and sighing with relief when they found none. Her father lifted her off the floor and gently laid her back in her bed.

The Queen turned to him and rested her hands on his chest. "Go on." She stood on her toes, stretching up to kiss him. "I'm going to stay with her tonight."

"Okay." He hugged her tight and then held her hand as he helped her up to settle in beside their daughter. She snuggled Elsa close as he gently pulled the covers up to their elbows, giving them a last goodnight kiss on their foreheads. Then, the King snuffed out the lamps and pulled the door closed behind him.

Knowing that if Elsa were to wake, she would feel her mother's arms wrapped around her – and know that she was safe and that she was loved, no matter what – was the only thing that allowed the Queen to finally shut her eyes and drift off to sleep.


End file.
